Breakdown

I feel terrible. No I'm not sick just emotionally shaken. Why?! I don't feel like sharing the details.

But this mood I'm in has been transferred overnight. That in itself is worrying, "nothing a good night's sleep won't fix" - apparently not. Though the saying has always worked for me in the past. Just not now, something I never thought would happen to me, to touch my pretty, sheltered life. The shield has been shattered. Released into life only to be caught in life's cruel cage to be poked and prodded.. 

"Naive and protected", you got that right sir who I sat next to one seminar and who's name I don't remember. I now understand what you mean. Not the intellectual agreement which I gave you that day. No this is an emotional response speaking from experience.

I need to get out of here, away from the source of my pain. But where? And how? I can't leave, there is too much left to be done. Why strike now that there are things to be done. Why not strike back during my days of freedom when escape would have been easy. But no, life is not that kind.

I can only escape to my dreams, which I can not rely on to be there when i need them. Hopefully they will sooth me tonight for tomorrow awaits with the cruelty of the world ready to welcome me back..

*j